Romantic Films, my escapism

Raise your hand if you are/were obsessed with romantic comedies and dramas? Did Nicholas Sparks films just make your day? Do you youtube search ‘the most romantic proposal’ videos?

My top FIVE favorite romances of all time:

1.) Pride and Prejudice

2.)Robin Hood (Kevin Costner and Russel Crowe)

3.)Runaway Bride

4.)Sabrina (the remake)

5.) Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I would watch these films on repeat.

What I realized though in my obsession with this type of film: I was searching for the same thing I was searching for in my marriages. I was searching for wholeness. I was searching for an ache to be healed. My gentle loving heart just wanted the depths of my soul to be met with love. The temporary cure was often escapism in a romance film kind of way.

My desire for romance began as a young girl. I’m a hopeless romantic by nature. The nature of romance though isn’t found in a partner it’s found in your ability to behold or take in your surroundings. Romance is state of mind. I’m in love with my life right now; in a way I never imagined and I’m SINGLE.

Do you remember when Oprah aired the final episode of her show? She said, “This show has been my love letter to you the audience.” It was so moving for me because it hit me in that moment that what I was chasing by obsessing over the desire for my heart to be met was actually a desire to feel loved not by one person but to be whole and love from a place of wholeness. As years have passed and healing becomes the goal I’m no longer love sick. (I mean maybe later I’ll fall head over heels in love again but that’s a long way out.)

Do I believe in love? Yes. Am I going to resort to escapism and expect my partner to provide me wholeness? No. Will I continue to watch romantic films? Yes, with popcorn and a bourbon and coke.